we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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