Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
