therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
