Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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