Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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