is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
