Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
