i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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