All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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