whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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