HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
