the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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