Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
