The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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