Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I touched a dick in church today
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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