I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
