So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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