I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
