I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
