If i come over, it means nothing
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
