Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
