I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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