READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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