I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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