There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
