So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
We smell like vodka and hangover
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
