Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
