She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
its not stalking. its research.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
They are going to name an STD after you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
