I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
