It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
