she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
