Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
