Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
