i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
