I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize