Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You pole danced in your parka.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
