Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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