Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
