Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
