Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
