I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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