You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
