this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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