chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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