For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
