So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
