I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
