He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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