i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
