Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My life is pants optional.
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