either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize