i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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