i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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