She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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