you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
