ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I looked at my own cervix.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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