She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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