We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
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