Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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