But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
